Emergent Noise

Hmm…yes, I am back..and its been 3 days. I’ve been meaning to write an update but a lot has happened in these three days, and I am left with lot of questions that I must seek the answeres to. It’s critical.

I am going to take a time-out to assemble my thoughts before I write again.

I am writing this from Nagpur…but there is a lot to write and little time at this cafe…All in all it has been fun….I’ll be out of here and to Nashik by tomorrow…then more…

See ya.

All right…I’m off by afternoon. Updates on the blog will be highly subject to bandwidth availability. I’m not too hopeful..will have to scout for access I think. Anyway…laters.

On Monday I have to leave for Nagpur. When I booked tickets, I didn’t want to go. But everyone insisted and I thought maybe I shall feel differently about it when the day arrives. Well, one more day left, and I still don’t feel like going. I know I will be absolutely miserable. It makes me feel guilty because everyone at Nagpur has insisted that we come there, it’s been years and years…etc. which is true.

However, my selfish argument is that I get one month of holiday….and I make plans to do stuff. Of course, to other people, it usually looks like “sitting on the computer the whole day”, and therefore not exciting enough to turn down a trip. I won’t go into that because people just dont undetstand what you can be doing on the computer. But even if what i was doing, was boring…I was doing it…relaxing and not getting in anyone’s way.

Asking me to go elsewhere for no good reason, is like taking a 50 yr old tree in an isolated spot and deliberately uprooting it and putting it in another location for no real purpose at all, but solely by explaining that the tree was just doing boring stuff in its original spot.

Dont harp about the quality of the analogy and concentrate on the message it sends.

Now I must try to be optimistic. If I go, a lot of people in both places will be happy…some to recieve their Sister’s kids (since that is why we are invited), some to get rid of Nachiket Vartak.

Since I will be in a undesirable situation anyway, (as I aint wanted here either), I guess going to Nagpur is the lesser of two evils, soft rock as opposed to a hard place…and that sort of a thing. I will go…albeit reluctantly.

Get your socks up, Nash…its going to be llllooonnngg week ahead…

The wintery nights were all fine….but now they are starting to get to me. I pulled a muscle in my back some time ago…its getting better…but the cold makes it hurt and I twist and turn all night…dang..Its only 6 days before I go to Nagpur and I need a good jacket soon…. think I’ll go with Pooja and get one soon…

However, the whole Nagpur affair may not happen at all. Debbu’s schedule brings certification of journals right in the middle of it.

oh well…lets see what happens.

All right…its image gallery time now….check out the photos from coffee breaks and Yoko’s at Santa Cruz…there are more which will come along in the near future..

Pooja, checking out my glasses… at Barista’s today.

Me…today morning, having Coffee…looking at Pooj…or maybe out the huge glass window behind her…:D …you could never tell…

This is Pooj on Dec 5th…at Yoko’s . The last one is mine…I always move the camera too much when taking quick snaps. Finally Pooja decides to take self-pics…the first two

This is unrelated…by its my nightime haunt…if you can imagine me staring into the monitor dim glow…

hmm..feeling really laid back and low today….have to do something to cheer myself up.

Wow, nothing to write about in these few days. They’ve been very slow and I have been procrastinating stuff I got to do. I have to go to IIT before the 13th…and finish up term end formalities there . Well really, thats about it. Yesterday , Pooja and I had a talk about the rather strained relationship between her mother and (her sister + brother-in-law). Now its not the general disagreements that you can see in quite a few households….here, even the daughter and mother have serious differences , to the point that they cannot stand each other.

I’ve listened to this over two years now , mostly because it disturbs Pooja to an extent. It shouldn’t disturb her for the following reasons :

a ] It does not involve her in ANY way you can think of.

b ] She is not involved in any decision-making here that may or may not lead to a conflicless interaction beween the aforementioned individuals.

Therefore there is nothing to feel guilty about.

Yet , she does get psyched up about it. The proper way to address this is, and prevent psyching up would be :

a ] You listen to everything the individuals tell you with ZERO emotional involvement. You listen only because the individuals want to share and talk.

b ] You simply and firmly with surgical precision, cut yourself out from the entire affair from either sides.

The thing is , there are certain things people expect from grandmothers. And as far as Indian tradition and values go, grandmothers should have their children and grandchildren as higher priorities than any hobbies they would like to pursue. I know this sounds obvious to most Indians who read it. The support that a mother-to-be needs from another woman is basically the assurance that her responsibilities of the household / or otherwise , will be taken care of. That is what provides the mental support. Nobody wants you to sit by their bedside and hold their hands because you are unable to do something and watch the house catch fire.

Secondly, it is common knowledge that one must adhere as far as possible to the discipline and norms of a place when you are there. Especially if you are there because of your own willingness to help your children . And no sane person seeks to instruct an employee of another household, especially if one is not aware of the ways of the place.

And it certainly helps if you are not morose and whiny while doing the above.

Such expectations, are not abnormal from the background we grow up in. However, if what you expect is not what the person does, it is where individualism comes in. In this case , your expectations are simply wrong. Do not expect, because obviously the other peson does not reciprocate your trust in the person that you could recieve help from him/her when you need it.

That is the lesson to be learnt. Too bad it didn’t work out.

And yes, I can say this non-chalantly because I have the comfortable confidence instilled by my family that such a situation will not land upon me, at least not by intention. So ? Am I to feel guilty about a good thing ? Does it make the analysis above inaccurate ? It only makes it easier for me to make a rational analysis…thats all.

Twenty one years ago, I was born.

Today I had a god time with Pooja , we went out in the afternoon, spent the whole day with each other…and of course friends and family.

Pooja gave me an Intex TV Tuner / Capture Card for my b’day…which I wanted for a LONG time. I even installed it right away. Still waiting for the cable to be routed to the computer.

Pooja’s sister and b-in-law…sent in a lot of gifts : A nice perfume…, and her Mom gave me a shirt. So it was goodies day for me…lol

Today in the morning, first thing I did I conenct the camcorder and check out the S-video settings. It came on beautifully, and just for trials I grabbed a movie of Foxes on the Savannah I had taken a few years ago….which I will put online in some time…..some glitch in the sound though….hmmm.